We’ve all been there. Your experience is nothing special, because we’ve seen and heard it a thousand times. We know, that there are some fantastic places for breakfast, we know, that there are some incredible beach parties and that there are plenty of great late night bars to sit and stroke your neckbeard in the presence of fellow neckbeards. We know. Please, don’t bore me to death with your “unique” story, because I just don’t care.
But what are those experiences, that I’m talking about? Why do I already know about your experiences before you’ve experienced them for yourself? Well, read on and find out…

Elation

It’s great! Everything is great! Wrocław is so beautiful and the people are so friendly! Everything is soooo cheap and the cute little cafes are just wonderful! And the parties! And the girls/guys are just fantastic! My team leader is such a nice guy and we go for weekly team dinners, and they even invited me to go on a trip with them this weekend! It’s so much fun and it wouldn’t be like this back home!

Realistic

I miss my family, and my friends, and my dog. It’s hard when my mother calls me every night to tell me about the latest happenings in my small town, and my neighbours are kinda irritating. Work isn’t what they said it would be as well, I was supposed to travel and attend conferences instead of waiting until 3 pm on Friday for some guy to send me what I need. I learnt a few words in Polish though, and I can now buy a beer and a tram ticket, so it’s not that bad. Everyone I need to speak to, can speak English anyway.

Depression

Wrocław sucks. The pavements are full of dog mess, public transport is overcrowded, people are nasty in shops and I just can’t believe, that people say nasty things to me in my face. The government is terrible and doesn’t care about me, and I can’t believe they expect me to use Polish when I interact with various offices. Polish is too hard anyway, and what’s the point in learning it?

Hatred

It’s even worse. My team leader didn’t tell me, that I was supposed to submit a tax return, and I think she hates me, because I’m prettier and smarter than her. No-one cares what I do in work, and I spend all my time on YouTube anyway. Poles are stupid and jealous people, and they keep speaking in Polish in front of me at work, because they don’t want me to understand what they’re saying.

Survival

If I can just survive this winter, summer will be great. I think I’ll go to Prague or Berlin and hang out in some expat bars there, because at least I’ll be among my own people. Polish people are difficult to understand, and I don’t understand, why they don’t understand my enlightened Western views on various topics. Maybe it’s because they were under Communism for so long, or something. My flatmate keeps using my toiletries too without asking, but she doesn’t understand my subtle hints about it. Maybe I’ll have to hide her things to make a point, or something.

Acceptance

Wrocław is nothing special. It’s a mid-sized European city, comparable to any other. But it’s home for me and my friends, and I can take you to places, that still make me smile. Life can be difficult at times, but it’s not that bad, and anyway, winters are becoming shorter and shorter. The city is becoming more and more open towards foreigners, and now that I’ve learnt quite a bit of the language, I feel like I understand the city more. Things can be better, sure, but when I talk about home, I talk about Wrocław.
If you have made it to the final stage, well done. You probably cringe at the things you said and did previously, but we’ve all been there and done exactly that. Don’t stress, thousands of other people have said exactly the same as you – and thousands more will say the same, too. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the rollercoaster ride of being a foreigner in this remarkable city.